


These Words I Speak

by MonaBee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kindaichi being an awesome friend, Kunimi knows everything like seriously, Multi, Oops, Plus I wanted Kags having a better time at Kitaichi fic, The idea just sort of grew on me, Trans Kageyama Tobio, Transphobia, but none existed, i've never written anything like this, so i wrote one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 17:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6480289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonaBee/pseuds/MonaBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama hates it. He hates how his mother always fusses and brushes his hair and buys those god-awful dresses for him all the time. He hates the ponytails, he hates the pink accessories and he hates being called a girl.</p>
<p>He’s <i>not.</i></p>
<p>Won't someone listen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Words I Speak

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of really fell in love with the idea of awkward little transboy Kageyama trying to fit in in more ways than one and this fic kind of grew from that. Granted it's not all cutesy friendship and yep there's angst (can I write a fic without angst? um no apparently not) but it has a happy ending? sort of. Kitagawa Daichi time goes better though so there's that :D

 

Kageyama _hates_ it. He hates how his mother always fusses and brushes his hair and buys those god-awful dresses for him all the time. He hates the ponytails, he hates the pink accessories and he _hates_ being called a girl.

He’s _not._

Tobio’s always been uncomfortable in his own skin. He’s never liked to play with the girls at his (her?) school, and far prefers to mess around with the boys when they allow it. His mom always scolds him when he comes home covered in dirt, with scratches on his knees and tears in his dresses.

“Little girls shouldn’t roughhouse Tobio-chan.” His mom says in the evenings, scrubbing him clean in the bath and using sweet smelling bath salts that make him want to hurl. Tobio looks just like his mother, with long hair and a cute face and he hates it. Wishes he was strong and tall like his father. Wishes his hair was cropped close. Wishes that people would understand. He’s trapped under the suffocating life of the girl he never was.

As he gets a bit older the boys refuse to play with him. There’s a divide now. The other girls whisper to him, ‘boys have cooties’ they say, and laugh and talk about dolls and clothes and how cute Hikeru looks. Tobio agrees with them only on the latter.

He’s scared. Scared to tell his mom the truth. That he isn’t her daughter and never has been. But he steals up the courage and knocks on her door and she calls him in with a ‘come in Tobio-chan!’.

He climbs up onto her bed next to her and tells her, softly and a little shaky. She just looks at him, and he wonders if she’s hearing anything he’s saying. Does she understand now? That he is a _he._ Not a she, not a girl. A boy, her son.

His mother hugs him, patting his back and shushing him when he starts to cry. It’s scary, because she hasn’t said anything yet. Kageyama Akechi puts her son to bed, and Tobio curls up, wondering why it sounds like crying through the thin walls separating the two rooms.

A few nights later when Tobio’s dad is home he hears the tail end of a conversation through the wall.

“She’ll get over it right? I mean, it’s just a phase, just a _phase._ She just likes playing with boys, that’s all. Right? Right?” His mother says, frantic. Tobio shrinks back from the wall, and tears fall down his face. She didn’t believe him. He _knew_ she wouldn’t, _knew_ it.

What is he going to do?

The door to his room opens and he hears the heavy steps of his father enter the room, before he lays a warm hand to his son’s forehead. Tobio cries softly and hugs his pillow to his chest while his dad hums a lullaby tune.

“Tomorrow I’ll take you to get a haircut okay? And some new clothes.” His father whispers. Tobio looks up at his dad through the veil of tears and nods.

His mother may not understand, but Tobio isn’t alone in this.

“Thank you Tou-san.” He whispers.

“Of course.” His dad says back.

* * *

 

The hairdresser looks at him a little funny, but doesn’t ask questions when Tobio points out the hairstyle he wants. It’s simple and short, and still leaves enough hair for a fringe in the front. When the hairdresser spins him around Tobio’s eyes widen and a smile breaks out on his face.

“You like it? It suits you kid.” The hairdresser says, and swipes the excess hair off of Tobio’s shoulders. His dad stands in the background and smiles at him. Mom didn’t want to come with them. She said she was still trying to understand, and to please give her some more time. Tobio had nodded, but been a little sad.

“You and your son have a nice day!” The hairdresser calls from behind them as they leave the store, and Tobio feels a sort of warmth bloom in his chest. It feels _right,_ finally, to have people see him for who he is. He knows it’ll be harder when he gets back to school, but for now he can just enjoy this. The people around him looking at him and seeing a boy and not a girl.

His dad buys him a few new shirts and two pairs of shorts. Tobio decides that he won’t wear them straight away. He’ll do this slowly. For now, he’ll revel in his new short hair.

It goes… worse than he expects.

“Tobio-chan! What did you do to your hair?” The girls ask him the next day. They crowd around him, and Tobio feels uncomfortable with all the attention. The teacher had looked at him curiously when he’d walked in that morning – no dress, short hair. His shirt was still an old one, hello kitty plastered across it, and his shorts were striped with purple, but the only thing people looked at was his hair.

“I-I got a haircut.” He mumbles. The girls chatter about it, but everyone says it suits him. Well, suits ‘her’, but he’ll take what he can get. It’s not until later, when he’s going to the bathroom that things get bad.

“Did you see Tobio today?”

“Yeah. What does she think she’s doing, cutting her hair like that?”

“My mom would _never_ let me cut mine. Maybe she thinks she’s a boy or something!”

The girls giggle.

“I’ve heard of people like that! Ugh, my mommy says that there’s something wrong with them. They’re not right in the head!”

Tobio sniffles, and his eyes water, but he just turns on his heel and runs away from the voices. The girls hear him but they don’t bother chasing him. The teacher catches him just before he runs outside, and pulls him into a deep hug, offering him paper towels to dry his face.

That day Miaka-sensei becomes Tobio’s best friend.

They talk, and Tobio tells her that he is, well, a he, and Miaka-sensei accepts it with a nod and says nothing else. She only slips up thrice from then on, calling Tobio a girl, but Tobio knows she’ll get used to it and she does. Miaka-sensei is very sweet, and Tobio’s saving grace as he grows up. He know puberty hits girls earlier than it does boys, and he can’t help that fact, but Miaka-sensei assures him that she’ll help in whatever way she can.

The teasing is still unbearable, but she eases his pain.

* * *

In 5th grade Tobio decides he wants to play volleyball. He thinks he might be good at it, and asks his mom to sign him up for the local kids team. It’s co-ed right up until Junior High, so Tobio doesn’t have to go through any awkward discussions about his gender or fill in copious amounts of forms.

He’s so excited for it by the time the first Saturday of practice rolls around that his mom has to tell him to stop bouncing so much. He can’t injure himself before he even starts playing.

The gym is so big it takes his breath away to look at. There are a lot of kids in there, and most look his age or slightly older. It makes him a little giddy actually. His mom kisses his forehead(“That’s _gross_ Kaa-san!”) and promises to fetch him when practice is over.

“Be a good boy and don’t get into trouble.” She says, but light-heartedly and not threatening. Tobio glows, and promises he’ll do his best.

The first practice is mostly just talking, and a little bit of throwing the ball back and forth. Tobio is paired with another boy named Kindaichi who has a wide smile and hair like a porcupine. Tobio thinks they might be friends.

“Hey Kageyama-kun!” Kindaichi calls, once practice is over, “You’re coming to practice on Tuesday right?” He asks. Tobio nods. He’s coming to _all_ the practices, cause this is maybe the best thing ever.

“Well Kunimi and I were gonna go out after practice to the arcade and I thought maybe you’d like to come with?” Kindaichi asks and Tobio’s throat seizes up. He hasn’t had a friend since… well never really. He finds himself nodding frantically.

“Yes! Definitely. Thank you,” He says. His mom is proud of him for making friends, and gives him some money to spend. He brings some extra clothes with him so that he doesn’t have to wear his sweaty practice clothes going out.

Kunimi is a little quiet and doesn’t smile often, but Kageyama likes him anyway, and Kindaichi is talkative enough for the both of them. They’re walking into town when it happens, and Tobio freezes as soon as he hears the words.

“Hey! Look, there ‘it’ goes. Little Kageyama Tobio.” The boy shouts from across the road. Tobio tries to pretend he doesn’t hear him, but Kindaichi stops talking and Kunimi looks up from his book to see who it is. The boy and his friends walk across the road towards them. They’re all the same age, but the guy who insulted Tobio is a bit taller than the rest, and uses that to his advantage.

“Oi! Who do you think you are? Don’t insult my friend!” Kindaichi shouts, and people turn to look at them as they pass by. Tobio just wants to shrink down into his sweater. This is horrible. These people were there when Tobio first started transitioning, and they know his secret. If they tell Kindaichi and Kunimi – will they still want to be his friends?

The boy laughs and ignores Kindaichi entirely, walking over to Kageyama instead. “Look at you, Tobio-chan,” He says, and the way he says it makes Kageyama want to run away, “You were cuter as a girl.” He says offhandedly. Tobio’s face is red, and tears start in his eyes, but he scrubs at them furiously. He will _not_ cry in front of his new friends. He will not embarrass them – or himself.

Suddenly Kindaichi is there in front of Tobio, looking righteously angry, and Kindaichi’s fist plants itself firmly in the other boy’s face. The boy who insulted Tobio staggers backwards, hand coming up to his face and coming away bloody. Kindaichi had punched him so hard his nose was bleeding. Tobio stood there in complete awe.

“Go away bastard! I said to leave my friend alone!” He growls. The two idiots run away, yelling insults as they went, but Tobio hears none of it. He just stares at Kindaichi a little bit and smiles.

“Thanks,” Tobio says quietly. Kunimi knocks Kageyama against the shoulder softly.

“He’s always doing stuff like that, the idiot.” Kunimi says, inclining his head towards a gloating Kindaichi, “One day, you’re gonna get in a fight and kill yourself,” Kunimi says, this time addressing Kindaichi himself. The boy in question just grins wider.

“Yeah yeah, but that isn’t today. Come on, we wanna at least play a couple of games before we have to go home.” He says, and starts walking.

“You have blood on your shirt by the way.” Kunimi points out. Kindaichi groans.

“Ah, my mom’s gonna kill me.” He whines. Tobio follows the two, a tiny smile sitting delicately on his face. Neither of them mention anything about how the boy insulted Tobio, and it sets his heart at ease. Either they didn’t understand or didn’t care, and both of those is preferable to any other outcome.

Maybe, things will only get better from here on out.

* * *

As the year passes Tobio springs up, surpassing both Kindaichi and Kunimi in height. Kindaichi whines about it constantly, saying that it’s not fair that Kageyama gets to be the tallest first, and that he’s definitely gonna have a huge growth spurt and beat him soon. Kunimi just says it’s good for the team, since now they have a few taller players of their own.

He grows in more ways than one, and it comes to the point where his mom tells him he’ll be needing bras soon. He hates the thought, and hopes against all hopes that his breasts (Ugh he hates even _saying_ it) will stay small. It’s unlikely though, because his mom is curvaceous and very feminine. She says even if they do grow bigger she’ll buy him a binder, but they’re too small to need one yet.

His first bra is plain black, and when he wears it it’s like being flat chested all over again (at least with a shirt on). He smiles at this, and forgets the matter of puberty entirely for a while. Until one evening his stomach starts cramping way too much and his mom sits him down to talk about what it is to have a period.

Tobio starts panicking a little. This is not like having breasts, or making sure to go to the bathroom when he’s alone, or insisting on changing in a stall. This will be very difficult to hide. He’s lucky it only started now, that he’s at home and that his mom is helping him to take care of it. What is he going to do if he starts at school? If he can’t get to the bathroom fast enough?

What if he gets caught at practice?

It’s one thing for the kids at school to find out. Some of them already know, and the teachers do too, but the kids at volleyball don’t go to school with him. If they find out…

“I’m scared.” He says to his mom as she tucks him into bed. She pauses, before leaning down to kiss his cheek. Her long hair tickles his nose and makes him sneeze, and the aching throb in his gut intensifies for a moment.

“We’ll keep track of it carefully, so you don’t have to worry.” She says, and Tobio nods. She rubs his back soothingly.

The next day at practice Tobio does his best to act as normal as possible. His mom gave him some painkillers, and they’ve been helping a lot, but it’s still uncomfortable. The whole thing is a little gross, and very messy. He plays well, but obviously isn’t fooling Kunimi with the looks that the brunette keeps giving him.

During a short break in the middle of practice Kunimi comes up to him with concern on his face.

“You okay Kageyama?” He asks, and Tobio nods, uneasy. Kunimi doesn’t believe him, and raises an eyebrow, ‘ _really?’_ he seems to ask. Tobio scrunches up his nose.

“I’m just… not feeling well I guess.” He mumbles. Kunimi nods.

“Just don’t push yourself then.” He says.

Kunimi leaves him be for the rest of practice, but the ache is getting worse as the painkillers wear off, and he’s increasingly uncomfortable. He breathes a sigh of relief as practice ends. He changes in a stall as usual, taking a while to get to the change rooms so as not to draw attention.

Kindaichi is waiting for him outside.

“Hey Kageyama, you doing okay? Kunimi was worried about you, and actually you do look a little weird.” He says, pressing a hand to Tobio’s forehead.  Tobio bats his hand away.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired, not enough sleep,” He lies smoothly. Kindaichi furrows his eyebrows but lets it go.

“Ah, I forgot to ask you, what school are you planning on going to next year?” Kindaichi asks, waiting for Kageyama to shoulder his bag. Tobio shrugs. He hasn’t given it much thought other than the fact that he really wants to get out of his current one. Right now volleyball is just about the only thing he looks forward to everyday.

“I don’t know. My mom’ll probably send me to Kitagawa Daichi,” Tobio says.

“Aw cool, I wanna go there too. They’re the best Junior Volleyball team in the prefecture, and it seems like a really cool school.” Kindaichi says. He continues on and on about the players, waxing poetic about a particular spiker who just really inspires him. Kageyama listens with a smile, happy that his friend is happy.

When he gets home he asks his mom if he can go to Kitagawa Daichi, and she tells him that it was supposed to be a surprise, but she’d already gotten an acceptance letter for him. Tobio ignores his cramps and gives his mom a huge hug right then and there.

The next practice he and Kindaichi and Kunimi talk about what it’ll be like to play volleyball in Junior High, and Tobio thinks that he can totally do this.

* * *

“My name is Kageyama Tobio! Nice to meet you!” Tobio shouts, bowing low at the waist. Kindaichi and Kunimi follow him. All of the first years are required to do it, introduce themselves to their senpai and their coach.

Tobio can feel the excitement in his gut. He can barely contain it. He cannot wait to play here on this court with all of these brilliant players in front of him. It’s his dream. His senpai are really cool, but it’s Oikawa Tooru who he really admires. Oikawa is a setter, just like Tobio wants to be, and he’s so confident and friendly that Tobio can’t help but try and imitate him.

Tobio knows he won’t be in the starting line up anytime soon, but he practices just as hard (if not more) that those who are. He wants to catch up to Oikawa so much it hurts. He thinks that if he can be as good as Oikawa he could beat anyone.

Kindaichi and Kunimi don’t share quite as much enthusiasm as he does, but Kindaichi at least wants to help him improve his tosses and offers to be his spiker. They work well together in tandem, and Tobio catches the eyes of the coach on him every now and again, but can’t tell if it’s approval or not in his eyes.

Sometimes he feels a less friendly gaze on his back, but whenever he turns around all he sees is Oikawa-senpai practicing his spikes or tossing to Iwaizumi-senpai and Tobio knows he far too beneath Oikawa to gain his notice. Every time he thinks that he starts working twice as hard, and whenever he gets home his parents huff at him and remind him to get a bit more rest. He’s a growing boy after all.

* * *

Oikawa _hates_ him. He hates Kageyama Tobio with every fibre of his being. When he says as much to Iwa-chan, Hajime just looks at him and tells him he’s ‘way too dramatic for this early in the morning’. Oikawa protests that that’s unfair, firstly because it’s not that early, and secondly because Kageyama Tobio is an annoying little snit of a boy who doesn’t know when to quit.

Every time Oikawa watches the boy toss to his friends or ask if he can stay late to practice he can feel his temperature rising. He can’t explain it. Tobio is talented and a fast learner, and maybe it’s just that he feels threatened by the boy’s progress (not that he’ll ever admit that to anyone – not even to Hajime) but he feels like there’s something else. Something about the boy chafes at him.

When he watches how much the boy concentrates when he throws during a practice, Oikawa spins away in fury.

Maybe it’s because they are so alike.

Oikawa avoids the little kid on principle, and it’s probably for the best. Tobio’s two friends also do their best to keep Tobio out of Oikawa’s path – sensing that their senpai doesn’t like him. Tobio however is oblivious, and never fails to greet Oikawa loudly every morning, and even occasionally asks him for tips on his setting.

Oikawa never fails to tell him to _go away._ (the ‘and go die in a hole’ is felt but not said).

Tobio just doesn’t get the message.

Oikawa injures himself suddenly one day, practicing too much and ignoring the pain. When he finally consents to going to a doctor it’s much worse than he thought it would be. They keep him off sports for two weeks. Practically a lifetime in his profession. Hajime shouts at him for being stupid enough to injure himself at a time like this. They’re playing a practice match in a week, and now they’re short a setter. Tooru knows _exactly_ who coach is going to choose as his replacement and it makes him feel sick.

Oikawa has no choice but to watch from the side lines as Kageyama tosses to his best friend every day in practice until the match, and feels even worse when Kageyama tosses to Hajime in the _actual_ match. He looks so happy, like just touching the ball gives him joy and Oikawa wants that to be _him._ Knows it should be him. That Kageyama doesn’t deserve that.

Tooru feels bile rise in his throat at the sight of Hajime high-fiving Tobio after the game.

“Good job Kageyama-san,” Iwaizumi says, and Tobio looks up at the boy reverently.

“You two Iwaizumi-senpai! I’m lucky to have gotten the chance to play with you!” Tobio says breathless. Tooru can’t stand to watch, so he gets up and walks away quietly, ignoring the throbbing pain in his knee.

Hajime stops him on the way out.

“What’s wrong with you Tooru?” He asks. Oikawa pouts, and sulks.

“You seem to be having plenty of fun with Kageyama over there, Iwa-chan.” Tooru says. Iwaizumi looks at him sternly.

“I always enjoy a good practice match Trashykawa.” He says, ignoring Tooru’s protests at the nickname, “Besides, you’ll be back on your feet in no time, and then you won’t have to be jealous of Kageyama.”

“I am _not_ jealous of that little, that little brat!” Oikawa huffs.

“Sure you aren’t.” Hajime says, and walks off without Tooru. Oikawa scrambles after him.

“Oi! Iwa-chaaaan!’

* * *

Things get better, and then very abruptly worse.

Oikawa is back at practice now, and his serves are improving greatly. Tobio hasn’t bothered him with one of his inane requests in a while, which has left Oikawa feeling better about himself. Kageyama may be a brilliant setter, but for now at least Oikawa is still the _better_ setter, and he reclaims his usual spot on the starting line up right away. The only thing Tobio has to say about it is ‘Thank you Oikawa-senpai for coming back to the team’.

Oikawa has no idea if that’s supposed to be an insult or a compliment, but he’ll take it as the latter.

One evening Oikawa doesn’t know why, but he feels inexplicably off. Hajime is practising with the second year setter, and not Tobio, so it can’t be that brat who’s annoying him, but Tooru certainly doesn’t feel at ease.

He stays late for extra practice, and Tobio does as well, and Tooru can just feel the headache coming on already. He tries to ignore Tobio’s presence completely, but he can feel the boy’s eyes on him when he jumps to serve and it’s unnerving.

“Oikawa-senpai, please teach me how to serve!” Tobio asks, causing Tooru to drop the ball in his hands.

“No,” Oikawa says, voice hard.

“Please? I want to be able to play like Oikawa-senpai!” He shouts. Oikawa spins around.

“I said _no!”_ Oikawa shouts back. Tobio seems momentarily taken aback, but he steels his resolve and bows at the waist, ball in hand.

“Please Oikawa-senpai! I need to catch up to you!” Tobio asks, a strain of pleading in his voice. Oikawa didn’t answer this time, rage seething just below his skin. Could this kid not take a hint? Why wouldn’t he just go away already?! Tooru knew Kageyama would surpass him one day, but he damn well wasn’t gonna help him do it. Tobio looks up at his senpai.

“Um, Oikawa-senp-aiii?!” Tobio shrieks as Tooru grabs a hold of the front of his shirt, bringing Tobio close to his face.

“How many times to I have to tell you _no_ before you understand you little brat?” Oikawa growls, and brings his arm back to swing it. A vicious thought crosses his mind ‘maybe, if I knock some sense into him.’.

As he swings he doesn’t notice Hajime out of the corner of his eye. Doesn’t register the other boy’s presence until Iwaizumi grabs Tooru’s wrist and yanks his fist away from the terrified Tobio’s face. Doesn’t understand what’s happening until Iwaizumi has slapped him _hard_ across the face.

“You _idiot!_ What do you think you’re doing hitting a first year?!” Hajime demands. Tooru blinks at him blankly, unable to process what just happened. Behind him Tobio cowers against the floor, the faint sound of hiccupping sobs emanating from the boy. Hajime lets go of Tooru and turns to the poor underclassmen with a sigh.

“Oikawa is just being stupid Tobio,” Hajime says, and Oikawa winces when he uses Kageyama’s first name so easily, “Go home okay? It’s getting late. We’ll lock the gym.”

Tobio nods softly and gets up, running across the room to grab his stuff and leave. Hajime gives Tooru a disappointed look, and Oikawa just wants to shrink back into himself. This is all his fault. His fault for getting mad at Tobio. His fault for letting his anger control him like that. His fault that he even bothered being jealous in the first place.

“Go home Tooru,” Hajime says, with a certain kind of finality.

Oikawa swallows whatever pitiful retort wells up in his throat and does as his best friend says.

* * *

Tobio takes a much longer time than usual to dress the next day. His binder feels too tight, and he can’t breathe properly, but he doesn’t know if that’s because of what transpired the night before or not. It was terrifying, watching as Oikawa – his idol, his goal – swing a fist at him in rage. He never knew the upperclassman hated him so much. It’s an eye opener.

When Kunimi (who’s always been a bit too perceptive for his own good) asks him what happened Tobio considers telling him, but it’s Oikawa who hates Tobio, not the other way around. So he tells his friend he’s absolutely fine, just a little tired from late practice. He’ll keep his senpai’s reputation as it is.

At the end of practice Tobio leaves a note for Oikawa in the older boy’s shoes. _“I’m sorry,”_ It says, “ _I won’t bother you anymore.”_

He’s too scared to say any of that in person, worried Oikawa will not accept his apology more than he’s worried he’ll hit him. He saw Oikawa’s face after the incident. He seemed remorseful, and unhappy that he let his anger get to him. Tobio thinks he must have let his anger build for a long time before he lashed out.

The next practice Tobio finds a note written on the back of his one. It says “ _Apology accepted. I’m sorry too.”_ Tobio smiles at this, but doesn’t bother Oikawa-senpai either way. It’s an easier existence this way. Beside, Tobio learns best from watching. If he watches Oikawa-senpai jump serve enough he’ll pick it up.

One day practice runs a little later than usual, and Kindaichi rushes out past Tobio, who always lingers.

“My mom’s gonna kill me if I’m late for dinner again, see you tomorrow Kageyama-kun!” Kindaichi shouts. Kunimi excuses himself as well, citing that the bus to his part of town didn’t run late, and he would have to hurry to catch it. Tobio waves them goodbye and starts cleaning up as other boys changed. He always waits for the change rooms to be empty before he ever goes in there.

Later Tobio wonders if he had been distracted by something, because what he did next was probably the stupidest thing he’d ever done in his entire life.

He decides to change in the common area instead of in a stall. Just as Tobio pulls his shirt over his head Oikawa strolls into the change rooms. Tobio’s mouth opens and closes in terror and Oikawa just stares at the very obvious _breasts_ that Tobio casually has attached to his chest. Granted they were encased in a binder, but Oikawa isn’t stupid enough not to know what that is. Tobio’s whole face goes pale, and Tooru spins on his heel, face red and heart pounding, running out of the change rooms at breakneck speed.

Tobio sits down and steadies himself against the wall. Oh, of all the people to walk in on him in his binder. It had to be the one person on the team who hated him. Tobio tries to rationalize that it couldn’t be the worst person. One of the second years was a total gossip, and would probably tell everyone he knew. Oikawa probably wouldn’t tell anyone – except maybe Iwaizumi, whom Tobio knew was probably trustworthy. But at the same time Oikawa could easily use it as blackmail material. Kageyama knew Kunimi had figured it out already, and Kindaichi probably knew and wouldn’t care if he didn’t, but Tobio knows that there will be many people who won’t be able to come to terms with this.

Tobio doesn’t want to end up being bullied. Not again.

Tobio goes home, walking slowly. He feels physically ill, as if his whole world is turning on its side. Is he going to throw up? Maybe. He doesn’t know. This was bad bad bad, and he doesn’t know what to do. Beg Oikawa not to tell? Make a deal with him that costs his soul? He is so, so screwed.

He doesn’t manage to sleep at all that night.

* * *

Oikawa’s hands are sweaty. He can feel the heat rising in his cheeks as his brain tries and fails to comprehend what exactly he is seeing. There in front of him, shirt in his hands is Kageyama Tobio – but Kageyama Tobio with a binder around his (her?) chest and a waist that looks much more delicate when not covered in a baggy t-shirt. Oikawa thinks his brain must be short-circuiting, because he can’t help but find the curve of Tobio’s hip cute. The moment his functioning mind manages to latch on to the fact that he just _called Kageyama’s hips cute_ he finds the courage in himself to get out of that room as fast as humanly possible.

His breathing is shallow and his chest is tight, but Oikawa doesn’t stop running until he’s through the door of his house, up the stairs and slamming his bedroom door shut. He stops then, to catch his breath, falling to the ground with a groan. He feels dizzy. This is crazy. He’s known Tobio for only three months, but Tobio is so _male_ that Tooru can’t quite comprehend that he’s _not._

It’s not like the movies. There are no wild moods swings once a month, no over emotional outbursts. Tobio is tall for his age, and young enough that he can get away with his slightly feminine facial features. His voice isn’t deep, but he hasn’t hit puberty yet so that’s understandable, but it’s not as high as Oikawa’s many female admirers. Despite seeing such complete definitive proof Oikawa cannot help but wonder if he is just imagining things. Maybe he was just embarrassed about seeing Tobio – such a private ‘I change alone’ person – shirtless is making him see things.

Even Oikawa cannot talk himself into believing that.

Okay, so Tobio is actually a girl. At least physically. So what? What does that have to do with Oikawa? Other than the blackmail opportunities that Oikawa knows other people would take advantage of in this situation. He can just pretend he didn’t see anything, and keep on treating Tobio exactly the same as always. In fact he’s pretty sure Tobio would prefer that. No awkward conversations necessary.

Unbidden, the image of Kageyama’s blush painted cheeks rises up in his mind and Oikawa slaps his cheeks, groaning.

Okay, this might be a bit harder that he wants it to be.

* * *

Things between them are stilted in the next couple of days. Neither of them talk to one another, and they avoid each other’s eyes as much as humanly possible. Tobio half considers not going to school the first day, but decides that he doesn’t want Oikawa to think he has power over him, and goes anyway.

Eventually Tobio can’t stand the tension and goes up to Oikawa of his own free will. It feels like people are watching him, but he ignores whatever stares he is getting and marches determinedly up to Tooru.

“Can I talk to you in private?” He asks, glad for the composure he’s able to muster. His voice doesn’t waver even slightly. Oikawa nods. They leave the gym, going around the corner and stand there awkwardly. Tobio doesn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry,” They both blurt out at the same time. Tobio looks at Oikawa in shock. He hadn’t expected him to apologise, much less in this particular situation. Oikawa is standing there rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

“I’m actually the one who should apologise. I shouldn’t have run out on you like that. I probably gave you a heart attack.” Tooru says. Tobio blinks in wonder.

“Ah, but it’s my fault for being so careless. I’d thought I was the only one left in the gym, so I didn’t use a stall or anything like I usually do. I just sort of panicked. I just… It was, well terrifying.” He says, getting softer towards the end of his sentence.

“I won’t tell anyone. I know that I’m probably the last person you’d want to find out… like that.” Oikawa finishes lamely. All of his unwavering confidence has left him, and awkwardness has taken it’s place. He doesn’t know how to deal with Kageyama Tobio in general, and this time it’s ten times worse. He hesitantly lays a comforting hand on Tobio’s shoulder. The boy smiles weakly.

“Thanks. I guess that’s what I was most worried about.” Kageyama mumbles. Oikawa grimaces.

“The guys in the team aren’t… they wouldn’t hurt you.” Oikawa says. When Tobio gives him a sceptical look Tooru huffs and his cheeks heat, “I mean, I know Iwa-chan wouldn’t, and the guys in my year are good people. And I guess, iftheytriedtohurtyoui’dstopthem.” Oikawa says rushed. Tobio’s eyes widen comically, before he smiles.

“But Oikawa-senpai nearly hurt me himself the other day.” Tobio says innocently. Oikawa splutters and moves his hand off of Kageyama’s shoulder.

“I-I already apologised for that!” He stammered, “Plus, that was different! You’re just really annoying. Don’t think that just because I know your secret now I won’t treat you the same!” Oikawa says. Tobio smiles.

“Good,” He says, almost challengingly, “I wouldn’t want you to treat me differently anyway.”

Oikawa whines and crosses his arms. Tobio claps him on the back.

“Ne, Oikawa-senpai? Will you teach me how to serve?”

“What?! _No!”_

* * *

No matter how they try, Oikawa knows that his relationship with Kageyama is different now. The kid is still insufferable, and pesters him for help day in and day out, but it’s not as annoying anymore. Iwa-chan keeps shooting him these weird glances that Oikawa can’t figure out. He brushes them off. They have the Inter-Schools Tournament in three weeks, so they don’t have time to waste. His serve is getting better every day, and if he can perfect it by the tournament they’ll have a huge boost in attacking power.

So he works his ass off, and by the time they get to the tournament Tooru is confident that Kitagawa Daichi is going to win this. The other schools look at them a little enviously, and Oikawa revels in the attention.

“Oi,” Iwaizumi says, hitting Oikawa in the back of the head, “Stop preening. You look like a peacock.”

“Iwa-chan, you’re so mean. Look at us. We’re in our third year, we’re at prelims, and we’re bound to have a couple of great matches ahead of us! Doesn’t that just make you wanna smile?” Tooru asks. Hajime gives him a deadpan look and Oikawa shrinks back.

“It’ll be fun.” Is all Hajime says. Tooru smiles fondly.

“Ah, it will.”

Tobio and his little friends are looking around in complete awe and wonder, laughing and smiling. Tobio’s hand is grabbed by Kindaichi, who chatters enthusiastically. Kageyama’s face goes lightly pink, but he doesn’t remove his hand from Kindaichi’s, and Oikawa doesn’t know why that bothers him quite so much.

The two first years walk around holding hands for the whole morning, and Tooru’s eyes always manage to find their way back to them. He knows he’s being stupid about this. Tobio and Kindaichi have always been friends, and if anything Kindaichi is a much better person for Tobio than he is and-

Wait, why the hell is he thinking about this as if Kindaichi was Kageyama’s boyfriend?

Oikawa shakes his head to clear it. He has far more important things to be worrying about right then, and one of them is definitely the upcoming match again Ushijima. That thought settles him, and Oikawa sets his face in a grim line.

They play brilliantly, gaining attention and fans with every passing match. In the evenings Tooru pushes his futon next to Hajime’s and lies awake in the dark, listening to the snores of his teammates until he falls asleep.

It is the finals that throw them all off.

Oikawa has already gotten two service aces in a row. He doesn’t plan to let the last one go. He tosses the ball high up into the air and shuffles forwards. One step, two, then-

His knee gives out and he gasps, landing sprawled on the ground in pain. He is not stupid. He didn’t ignore pain. This has come on suddenly, out of the blue, and he hears the ball slam back onto the ground in front of him before he hears the concerned voices of his teammates.

They crowd him, before the first aiders move them out of the way. Has this happened before? Yes. Can you walk? No. Do you need some help? Yes.

They help him up and take him to the bench, where coach is patting Kageyama on the back and telling him he can do this. Tooru cannot blame his kouhai. He knows this is just fate throwing all his hard work back in his face, and Tobio has nothing to do with it.

“Do a good job, Tobio.” Oikawa says, from where the first aiders are getting his knee into a brace and trying to assess the pain. Tobio blushes bright but nods wildly.

“I’ll do my best Oikawa-senpai!” He says and runs out onto the court, teammates patting him on the back and giving him encouraging words. Tobio’s face is stretched with a smile, and he looks completely content there on the court with a volleyball in his hands.

Oikawa cannot help his smile.

They lose in the end, but it’s a close game, and nobody blames Kageyama or Oikawa. ‘Extraneous circumstances’, their coach had cited, and everyone had left it at that. Oikawa still notices how Tobio looks conflicted about it and goes up to him, wielding his crutches inexpertly. Tobio slows to let Oikawa catch up.

“You played well,” Tooru says when he eventually gets to Tobio.

“Not well enough.” Tobio says, purposefully looking away from Oikawa. Tooru will not have this, so he stops walking. When Kageyama realises he has left Tooru behind he swivels, hands in the pockets of his Kitaichi jacket.

“One day you’ll surpass me, Kageyama Tobio,” Oikawa says, a vicious curl in his lips, “But today was not that day. You’re in first year, so don’t expect to know things that only experience teaches you.” Oikawa hobbles forwards and ruffles Tobio’s hair, “Although I will admit, you do look adorable when you pout.”

“Oikawa-senpai!” Tobio shouts!, batting away the hand in his head and making Tooru laugh. His smile is fond as he watches Kageyama grumble about ‘mean senpai’ who ‘never take me seriously’. Once Tobio has walked Tooru to the boarding house – something Oikawa hadn’t realised the boy was doing – they part ways, but Tooru thinks that this little warm feeling in his chest could definitely become a problem.

When Tobio, Kindaichi and Kunimi fall asleep on one another on the bus ride back home, Oikawa’s mind helpfully supplies that ‘ _hey, his sleeping face is pretty cute too!’._

Tooru has to hide his blush from Hajime, who can’t understand why Oikawa is suddenly so interested in staring out of the window.

* * *

Kageyama’s first kiss is Kindaichi Yuutarou. And his second, and third, and really by this point he’s stopped counting. It’s something that happened quite suddenly, in the middle of the night as Tobio and Yuu walk home. Kindaichi just grabs Kageyama’ collar and pulls them together. It’s awkward, and their teeth clack together painfully, and Tobio is pretty sure his lips are going to be bruised.

But then he takes Kindaichi’s face in his hands and turns his head and tries again, pressing their cold-chapped lips together and this time it’s slow, a little hesitant and not terrible (actually, it’s really, _really_ nice) and Kageyama doesn’t mind doing it again, and again. When they break apart Kageyama’s face is so warm that he’s sure he could pass for a fire hydrant.

They walk the rest of the way to the bus stop in silence, hands clasped together. Tobio keeps sneaking glances at Yuu, who’s face is bright with a triumphant smile. They kiss again before Kageyama gets onto the bus, and promise to walk to school together the next morning.

They do, and they walk straight into practice holding hands, blushing like idiots. Tobio feels so warm and happy that he barely notices that Tooru is forcing his smile when he greets him that morning. Coach does nothing but warn that they mustn’t let their relationship interfere with practice, and that they’d better be good to each other. Both boys promise to do both.

Kunimi approves of them, saying that they’re good together, and promptly absolves himself of any future dealings in couple fights. Kindaichi catches Kunimi in a head bind and gives him a noogie.

It’s a bit weird dating Kindaichi, but it becomes a part of their routine soon enough. They hold hands just about everywhere, go out for ice-cream on the weekends and spend time together in Yuu’s bedroom, experimenting sometimes, and just laughing and watching movies together other times. They don’t bother labelling things as ‘Study Dates’ since Kageyama is pretty much useless at anything except volleyball, and Kindaichi only really passes along in life. Kunimi has to tutor them most of the time, and they always end up getting distracted – ending up playing volleyball in the garden until late in the evening.

It’s a peaceful existence that Tobio doesn’t want to shatter. He knows that Kunimi is aware of his secret, but whether Yuu knows or not is up in the air. He can never tell, because Kindaichi isn’t the type to bring things like that up. Tobio decides to bite the bullet.

They’re sitting together on Tobio’s bed, Tobio between Kindaichi’s legs, back pressed to Yuu’s chest. Kindaichi has his chin set atop Tobio’s shoulder and they’re watching a mildly gory and totally ridiculous zombie movie. Tobio is warm and comfortable, and Kindaichi is chuckling softly next to his ear, a sound that makes warmth flare in Kageyama’s chest.

“I’m trans.” Tobio says, quietly. Kindaichi doesn’t even flinch, and the next few zombies have been beheaded before Tobio realises he might not have been heard. “I’m trans.” He says again, this time turning himself slightly to look at Kindaichi in the eye. Yuu nods.

“I heard you.” Kindaichi says, them bites his lip, “I already knew. Since Primary School. That time with the bullies.” He says. Tobio nods, and relief floods him so swiftly that he’s not completely in control of himself when he moves forward to peck his boyfriend on the cheek.

“Thanks.” Tobio whispers, “For, you know, not freaking out.”

Kindaichi grins. “Boy or not, you’re Tobio. And I like Tobio, and I’m not going to change that anytime soon.” Tobio feels his eyes prick with tears, and Kindaichi closes the laptop, zombie growls fading out. He wraps his arms around Tobio, who clutches at Yuu’s hoodie, and Yuu presses soft butterfly kisses to Tobio’s face.

They stay wrapped around each other for the rest of the afternoon, and in the end Tobio falls asleep next to Kindaichi, heart just a little bit lighter.

* * *

Oikawa hates the feeling, but he recognises it straight away when he sees Tobio and Kindaichi together. It seems that no matter what he does the two of them are everywhere he looks. Canoodling on benches, holding hands at the bus stop, even laughing with each other under the stairs to the second year classrooms.

It makes him play harder, and seem harsher, and Hajime is not happy with him at all.

“Oi! Oikawa! Stop shouting at everyone else and focus on yourself!” Hajime hisses at their next practice. The third years technically aren’t obliged to be there and some of their fellow players have already quit for cram school so that they can get into the High Schools of their choice. Oikawa and Iwaizumi have stayed obviously, because volleyball is their lives and that’s just what they do.

“I am.” Tooru says deadpan, and Hajime furrows his eyebrows. He lays a hand on Tooru’s shoulder but Oikawa shakes him off, staring at the ball in his hands.

“Tooru,” Hajime says, “Is this about Tobio?” Iwaizumi chances a glance in the direction of their kouhai, and there is Tobio practicing diligently with Kunimi, “Are you… jealous?”

“Yes.” Tooru says, because lying to Iwaizumi is an exercise in futility, and he doesn’t actually have the energy within himself to do anything pointless right now. Hajime sighs.

“Well, obviously I can’t solve that problem myself,” He mumbles, “And you probably won’t stop being jealous until Tobio stops dating Kindaichi. Which isn’t happening anytime soon. Just please Tooru, don’t try and get between them.” Hajime says. Oikawa laughs humourlessly and closes his eyes.

“It’s a bit late for that Iwa-chan,” He says, “I already care too much about Tobio to hurt him that way.”

Tooru walks away from Hajime, his grip on the ball tightening.

‘ _Yes,’_ He thinks, watching Tobio smiling, ‘ _I care far too much.’_

* * *

Graduation hurtles towards them like a bullet train and before he knows it Tobio is standing at his senpai’s graduation ceremony, clapping and cheering as those he recognises walk up on to the stage. He’s a little embarrassed, because under his chair is a bunch of flowers for Oikawa, but he hasn’t gotten the chance to give them to him yet. The graduates are only going off to Senior High, but Kitagawa Daichi takes this more seriously than many schools.

Even from the audience Oikawa Tooru’s smile is blinding.

Tobio goes up to his senpai hesitantly, but luckily Tooru is on his own, his parents having turned to talk to the other adults. Kageyama taps Oikawa on the shoulder and the brunette turns, surprised to see his kouhai standing there.

“Ah, Oikawa-senpai, I got you flowers – as a going away present.” Tobio says, holding out his bouquet. Tooru blinks, before a smile – his genuine one, reserved for only a lucky few – stretches his face.

“Ah, thank you very much Tobio-chan. I ’ll miss you pestering me like a little fly all the time.” He says, and messes Tobio’s hair. Kageyama pouts at this, and Oikawa says something so softly he misses it, but before he has a chance to ask what he’d said Tooru’s been dragged away by his parents.

Tooru repeats the phrase in his head, ‘ _I’ll miss your pout too’._

“Tooru, who was that? Another one of your admirers?” His mom asks.

“Oh, no. Tobio is just my adorable kouhai. He already has a… boyfriend.” He says, mostly to himself.

Oikawa wonders if distance will dull this ache in his chest.

He hopes that absence does not make the heart grow fonder.

* * *

Tobio thrives in his new position as setter, and the year passes by like a whisper. He is a diligent player and friend and never misses a match at Aoba Johsai, supporting his old senpais to the best of his ability. He and Kindaichi date until halfway through their second year. It’s not a bad break up, and in the end they are better friends for it. They agree that maybe they were always meant to be friends, rather than anything more. It was good while it lasted.

Tobio feels lonely now, without that extra bit of his relationship, but he tries not to mourn it too much. He is growing again, upwards and outwards all at once. Kindaichi hits a growth spurt suddenly halfway through the year and towers over everyone, proudly proclaiming that he ‘always knew I was gonna be the tallest’ and that ‘He would be the tallest player on the team for sure’. Kageyama finds that he has to get a new binder, and that it’s getting harder to find clothes that are baggy enough to hide his figure. It’s annoying, but he learns to deal with it and after being how he is for so many years it’s like breathing. Still, he always looks around carefully whenever his shirt rides up a bit, and practices deepening his voice when he’s alone.

Oikawa Tooru throws a wrench in his plans, and suddenly his life is topsy-turvy all over again.

“Ah, Tobio-chan! Tobio-chan!” Oikawa calls, waving Tobio over. Tobio is in his Kitaichi gear, having played a match in the morning. Tooru is standing with a group of girls who are no doubt stalking him.

“Yeah?” Tobio answers, and Tooru throws his arm around Tobio’s shoulder.

“Ah, Tobio-chan, don’t you want to tell these fine ladies that you’re my boyfriend?” He says nonchalant. Tobio’s eyes widen to saucers, “You see, they didn’t believe me when I said I was dating you.”

Tobio can see where this is going. Into a gasoline tanker and right off the edge of a cliff. But Oikawa is smiling at him with pleading in his eyes and the girls are looking at him like predators, and Tobio has never been one to abandon his senpai in his time of need so he takes a mental breath to steady himself and opens his mouth.

“Of course I am,” Kageyama says casually, sliding under Oikawa’s arm more efficiently and wrapping one arm around the brunette’s waist, “I don’t know why these girls even bothered,” He says, standing on tip toes to speak this into Oikawa’s ear. The girls are varying states of red at this display and scatter into the wind. Kageyama disentangles himself from Oikawa, who looks a bit pink himself.

“Would you like to go on a date?” Oikawa blurts out, and Tobio sort of freezes. They kind of stare at each other for a few minutes before Oikawa redacts his question, “Ok, actually ignore that.”

“Sure.” Tobio says. “Movie?”

Oikawa is usually the smooth one, but he can’t help but grin.

“Movie. Alien ones are the best.”

“Zombies are better.”

“No way! I’ll prove it to you! There’s this one movie that’s…”

Hajime throws a towel over his neck and takes a swig from his water bottle.

“Fina-fucking-lly.”

* * *

This is not like with Kindaichi, where everything was fresh and new and innocent; he and Oikawa just _go, go, go._ After pretense, hand holding and shy kisses at the end of nights out, both of them are done with being cutesy. Even Oikawa can reach his breaking point with sweet gestures.

It is the middle of their seventh (he’s been counting) movie date, and Tobio doesn’t think he’s looked at the TV once in the past ten minutes. Tooru is a _very_ insistent presence at his throat, sucking and licking with fervour. Tobio makes the most delightful little mewling sounds when Oikawa nips at his flesh and arches up into the older boy’s touch. It’s exhilarating, and Tooru groans when Tobio threads his fingers through his hair and tugs Tooru back up to his face.

Oikawa straddles Kageyama’s hips and leans over the younger boy, mashing their lips together. He does this wonderful little twist with his tongue that has Tobio gasping into the kiss. Tooru is hesitant to move his hands anywhere where Tobio might be uncomfortable with, so carefully keep his hands on the boy’s shoulders.

“Y-you can touch me,” Tobio mumbles breathless, using his own hands to tug up the hem of his shirt slightly. Tooru looks down at how brilliant this boy is and smiles like a complete and utter sap.

“You sure? I don’t want to push you.” Oikawa says. He’s been very careful about letting Tobio set the boundaries here. Doesn’t want to rush this relationship. Tobio is grateful, but at the same time he’s also yearning for a little more love, so he just sighs.

“ _Yes.”_ He says and Oikawa careful places his hands at Kageyama’s hip, keeping his lips busy with a slower, softer kiss. Is fingers are feathery light as they dance across Tobio’s hipbone, making the younger boy shiver. He lets his hands linger where they explore, content to just get to know Kageyama, but they pause when he reaches the fabric of his binder.

“I’ll take it off.” Tobio says quietly. Oikawa closes his eyes for his sake, and hears rustling fabric as the garment is thrown to the floor. When Tobio puts a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder he opens his eyes, and Tobio is sitting with his shirt still on, but with the outlines of his breasts clearly visible through the shirt. Tooru cups Tobio’s face in his hands and brushes his jaw.

“You’re beautiful, Tobio-chan.” He says, and kisses him with a damp press of the lips. Tobio climbs into Oikawa’s lap and Oikawa leans back against the arm of the couch. His fingers resume their little exploration of Tobio’s stomach, marking swirling patterns with his mind as Tobio laces his hands behind Tooru’s neck. His palm brushes softly against the warm flesh of Kageyama’s breast, cupping it carefully. Tobio groans into his mouth, pulling back and moving his hands to tug at Tooru’s shirt.

“If you get to touch, so do I.” Tobio whispers against the shell of Tooru’s ear, and Tooru bites his lip.

They lose themselves in each other.

* * *

“They want you to be captain you know.” Kunimi says as practice ends and the first years scurry about. Kageyama pauses in his stretch and contemplates the idea.

“Kindaichi would be better. I’m not… good with people.” Tobio says. Kunimi raises and eyebrow at him, but doesn’t contradict what he says.

It doesn’t come up again until a few weeks later, when Oikawa has come over to visit his old school and stands by the door and watches fondly. Kageyama jogs up to him.

“What do you think?” He asks, meaning about the skill level of the team. Oikawa has been captain once, and likely will be captain again when he gets to third year, so he’ll know.

“They’re good. And they look up to you, which is a good thing.” Tooru says. “You should try for captain. They’ll probably vote you in even if you don’t want it.”

“But I’m not-“

“-good with people? No you aren’t Tobio-chan, but those first years over there love you, and I’m willing to bet that the next batch will do the same. You’re an easy person to look up to, because you work hard despite being talented – you don’t waste that talent.”

Tobio punches Oikawa in the shoulder – channelling his inner Iwaizumi (something the upperclassmen had been very happy about, judging by his evil laugh at Oikawa’s expense) – and huffing.

“I learnt all of that from you, you idiot.” He says, “I always wanted to be like you. Taller and stronger and better with people. You can inspire people with just a few words. I can’t do that.” Tobio says.

“You don’t need too. You inspire people just by doing.” Tooru whispers softly, pressing a kiss to Tobio’s temple.

“Oi! No PDA in the gym Oikawa! How many times have I said that?!” Coach shouted across the room. A ripple of laughter ran through the kids and both Oikawa and Kageyama froze in embarrassment.

“I’d forgotten how evil that old man used to be.” Oikawa muttered, and ran a hand through his hair. “Either way, you’ll make a great captain. Do me proud Tobio-chan.” Tooru said. Tobio clenched and unclenched his fist, nodding once.

“I’ll do my best.”

* * *

They vote him captain at the end of the year, and Kindaichi is vice. Kageyama fingers the fabric of Oikawa’s old captain’s jersey with a smile so wide it hurts. Putting it on makes a sort of happiness settle in his bones that he didn’t think himself capable of, but here it is.

The new year brings fresh blood. Talented fresh blood, and the competition for the starting line up is tough. Tobio does not envy the coach in his job of picking the team for Inter-Schools, and focuses on trying to keep his team together. There is one boy, smaller than the rest, who doesn’t fit with the group straight away, but Kageyama can see the talent that has the potential to be fostered there if someone tries.

“Hey kid,” Kageyama calls, walking up to the boy with a ball in hand. The boy startles and looks at him wide-eyed, obviously wondering if he did something wrong to incur the captain’s wrath. Kageyama’s rage has become slightly infamous among the first years now, and they both respect and fear him enough to listen.

“Ye-yes, yes sir!” The kid stutters. Tobio smiles.

“Just senpai, if you want, or Kageyama-senpai. My name’s a bit of a mouthful. Your name is Rin right?” Tobio asks.

“Yes sir! I mean, senpai. I mean, Kageyama-senpai!” Rin says, then groans, calling himself stupid. Tobio’s smile widens.

“Pick whatever’s easier to remember,” He says, and lifts the ball up, “I’ve seen you play. You’ve got a good jump on you. Wanna learn how to jump serve?” He asks. The way the boy’s eyes light up is endearing.

“Yes please Kageyama-senpai!”

“Okay, let’s go, I’ll demonstrate for you and then explain it.”

Rin learns fast, and soon enough the Inter-Schools tournament is upon them. Kitagawa Daichi strolls into the gymnasium to the sound of fans and volleyballs hitting the ground. Kageyama is in his element.

“Ok team, we’ll start warm ups straight away. If you need the bathroom, go now.”

Some people filter off to go the toilet as Tobio gets the warm ups started. Everyone comes back, baring Rin, and Tobio gets a bit agitated. He signals Kindaichi.

“I’m just going to check where Rin went, make sure he didn’t get lost.”

“I’ll come with you. There were some weird guys watching us earlier and I don’t want to take any chances. Kunimi! Take warm ups won’t you?” Kindaichi shouts, and Kunimi gives them a thumbs up.

The two boys head to the bathroom area, and hear the sounds of people speaking. Kageyama turns the corner, and sees two guys, third years judging by their size, standing in front of poor Rin, who’s shaking and staring at the ground in front of him.

“What, did you get lost? This is a Middle School Tournament kid, go back to your sand pit. It’s safer there.” The one guy says, and his friend laughs.

“I-I’m not! I’m in Junior High, I- Kindaichi-senpai, Kageyama-senpai!” Rin says, relief evident in his voice.

“Oi, stop picking on our teammate, pricks. Go back to your little social club.” Kageyama growls. The guy doesn’t look too intimidated by Kageyama, but when he sees the height of Kindaichi over Tobio’s shoulder he hesitates.

“Oh yeah? And who’s gonna stop us?” The friend asks. Kageyama grins, that dark nonchalant smile that never fails to unnerve people and silence a gym.

“ _Me.”_ He says, and Kindaichi bares his teeth over Tobio’s shoulder. The two guys trip over one another to get down the corridor, hurling half-hearted insults back at them. Kindaichi and Kageyama high five.

“Great teamwork there Yuu.”

“As always Tobio.”

Rin is standing there still in awe.

“Can’t you teach me how to do that Kageyama-senpai?” He asks. Tobio pats his head.

“One day I won’t need to.”

* * *

Their first match is unchallenging. They go up against a school that barely knows how to play, and they fall to the synchronised play of Kitaichi before they even have a chance. Still, Tobio is intrigued by the little redhead. That one spike was so fast and instinctual… He wonders what it would have been like if the kid had had more practice over the years.

When the redhead practically names them rivals Kageyama doesn’t even bat an eyelid.

“Okay! Next we meet, we’ll see who’s improved the most, shall we?” He says instead, and walks away with his team, knowing that Tooru will be waiting at the bus to congratulate him. But he files away his meeting with Hinata Shouyou for later, because you never know who your next challenge will be.

That evening Oikawa and Kageyama share a small dinner of grilled fish and rice.

“What school are you planning on going to, Tobio-chan?” Tooru asks, sipping tea across the table.

“I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought.”

That is a lie. Just a few days prior Tobio had received an invitation from Shiratorizawa, offering him a volleyball scholarship. Kageyama knows that that school is a stepping stone to professional volleyball, and anyone else would have accepted right away.

But he is not anyone else, and he has friendships and family and Oikawa to consider. He has the teammates he’s known for nearly his whole life to consider. He has never been a fan of Ushijima, and knows that if he sets for Shiratorizawa, he will be setting for Ushijima alone.

He doesn’t know if he can do that.

“I also got that letter,” Oikawa says. “And I thought about it, but in the end I decided that I’ll be happy with Hajime, and my teammates at Aoba Johsai, and I don’t need a fancy school to be a brilliant setter.”

Kageyama mulls over these words, but it doesn’t make the decision any easier. Maybe he should just skip out on both and go to some random school he hadn’t even considered before. There was one near his home – Karasuno, maybe? Sounded about right.

“I don’t know.”

“And you don’t have to.” Tooru says with a smile, “You still have time.”

But the clock ticks quickly.

* * *

They win the prelims, and Nationals all the way up to the semi-finals. They are crushed by a powerhouse school, but through no fault of their own. Everyone played their best, and that was all Tobio could have asked for. He says this all in his captain’s speech at the end of the day, when he hands over his captaincy to the second year that had earned it, and hugged his two best friends in what was the last match of their Junior High.

Standing there until the bright light of the stadium, rubber under his feet and a volleyball in hand, knowing that among the voices echoing his school’s name, Tooru’s was right there among them.

That was all he needed.

So he closed his eyes, and made a choice.

**Author's Note:**

> If someone _ever_ calls you an 'it' you have express permission to punch them in the face. That is derogatory and demeaning and calling a person (anyone) an 'it' is a really, really terrible thing to do. Believe me, it makes you feel like shit, and you're basically telling them they aren't even human. Just don't do it.
> 
> Sorry, ranting done :D I hope you enjoyed the story. You can decide if he ended up going to Karasuno or not - open ending cause I couldn't decide :P


End file.
